Welcome to Family Friday! I am here to talk to day to the parents about teaching your kids to abstain from sex. Our teens need to find something for them! What will make them feel good as individuals; young men and women.
1 Corinthians 6:15
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never!
Romans 12:1
[ Living Sacrifices ] Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual [ Or reasonable] act of worship.
I failed that test. I didn't teach my child how to value herself and her body. Yet, I haven't totally failed in life. Just like I understood my mother and her relationship with PEOPLE, well after I was an adult, my daughter will understand what I was attempting to teach her.
Romans 7:5
For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death
My conversation with you today is about our roles as parents. We might miss our mark and that's okay! We can't beat ourselves up about what is or isn't happening{positively} in our children's lives; we have to keep praying and pushing forward.
The bible says:
Matthew 10:21
"Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death.
This will happen, is happening, and the Christians have to change the outcome. Get on our knees and pray to the Lord and rebuke Satan!
We have to train our children that our bodies are not our own and we have to come out on top with the the help of the Lord. We must encourage them according to the word of God. By no means am I saying spoil them, but encourage them so that they too can see what you see from the Spirit. They are our children. A parent is better than a friend, a grandparent, etc.
Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Colossians 3:21
Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
I encourage you, if you don't feel ready to teach your child/teen, about saving their bodies for their husbands/wives share with them www.iamworththewait.com (click the title above). You will be doing an AWESOME thing in their lives!
God's awesome power and grace are evident in our lives. Women need to grasp their spirituality and obtain the breakthroughs necessary for growth and elevation.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Tuesday Tea~~Fasting and Hearing
Sit back, have some tea or coffee and let's talk!
The importance of a fast is to get connected to the spirit....giving up what you like in order to hear the LORD talk to YOU...
"The "key" of fasting to receive God's authority in His kingdom, will be covered in this teaching. The Lord said He would give us the "keys to the kingdom." What did He mean by that statement? Keys to the kingdom are actually keys of authority." bible.comhttp://www.bible.com/bibleanswers_result.php?id=179
I am going throught the 40 Day Thinking fast with Gregory Dickow. It's rough, but it's eye opening. When you start doing things that will exalt the Lord, you will start seeing the devil come in and tear down your world as you know it! Fasting from wrong thinking is just as important as fasting from food,water, soda,etc.
This is not something I'm telling you to do, I'm giving you options that maybe your Pastor hasn't. If it all works where God gets the glory, why not? You have to be spirit led to be spirit fed.
Read Isaiah 58 what the Lord says about fasting.
The importance of a fast is to get connected to the spirit....giving up what you like in order to hear the LORD talk to YOU...
"The "key" of fasting to receive God's authority in His kingdom, will be covered in this teaching. The Lord said He would give us the "keys to the kingdom." What did He mean by that statement? Keys to the kingdom are actually keys of authority." bible.comhttp://www.bible.com/bibleanswers_result.php?id=179
I am going throught the 40 Day Thinking fast with Gregory Dickow. It's rough, but it's eye opening. When you start doing things that will exalt the Lord, you will start seeing the devil come in and tear down your world as you know it! Fasting from wrong thinking is just as important as fasting from food,water, soda,etc.
This is not something I'm telling you to do, I'm giving you options that maybe your Pastor hasn't. If it all works where God gets the glory, why not? You have to be spirit led to be spirit fed.
Read Isaiah 58 what the Lord says about fasting.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Marriage Monday
Where is your love? What happened in the midnight hour yesterday that changed your today? Has your love been lost? What are you doing to rekindle the flame, bring back the passion. Do you even want to bring back the passion?
Sometimes the passion in a marriage can be renewed by the renewing of your mind. I want you to take some time to FAST.Fasting means stopping something you love for a time to reconnect with the Lord and just LISTEN. I want you to go to http://www.changinglives.org and sign up for the Thinking Fast that Mr. Dickow started a few weeks ago.
Renewing of your mind about your spouse will help you fall in love again! The Thinking fast is about changing those negative thoughts into something new for you and those around you. Something positive.
Marriage is exactly what you make it; if you make it out to be soooooooo bad and soooooo discouraging, it will be all those negative "vibes" you have poured into it.
If you want a day for just you and your husband let me suggest Woman Unique Online http://www.womanuniqueonline.org/
When you know that you're ready to go to the next level in re-lighting the fire in your marriage, a couples getaway or gift for two is what you need.
God's blessings be upon you all that you want for the better of the kingdom!
Sometimes the passion in a marriage can be renewed by the renewing of your mind. I want you to take some time to FAST.Fasting means stopping something you love for a time to reconnect with the Lord and just LISTEN. I want you to go to http://www.changinglives.org and sign up for the Thinking Fast that Mr. Dickow started a few weeks ago.
Renewing of your mind about your spouse will help you fall in love again! The Thinking fast is about changing those negative thoughts into something new for you and those around you. Something positive.
Marriage is exactly what you make it; if you make it out to be soooooooo bad and soooooo discouraging, it will be all those negative "vibes" you have poured into it.
If you want a day for just you and your husband let me suggest Woman Unique Online http://www.womanuniqueonline.org/
When you know that you're ready to go to the next level in re-lighting the fire in your marriage, a couples getaway or gift for two is what you need.
God's blessings be upon you all that you want for the better of the kingdom!
Friday, February 22, 2008
Family Friday~~Reading the WORD
Welcome to family friday again!
We are here to help celebrate our families and help them grow! By growth we need spiritual as well as mental!
Take your time and study the word with your kids. I don't do it all the time; I sometimes let my son read the word to me. As a 10 year old he comes up with some very profound things that are beneficial to everybody.
Either way, here are some scriptures I think would be great to start a conversation in your house:
Proverbs 1:8
Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching.
Proverbs 19:13
A foolish son is his father's ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.
Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord
Proverbs 22:6 (Whole Chapter)
Train [ Or Start ] a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Learning and reading the word of God is never simple. It's an experience all in itself that is different for every family. Children are the people that will help us later on in life and give us the word in a new spiritual light. We love them and help them along.....it's never too late to READ the word.
We are here to help celebrate our families and help them grow! By growth we need spiritual as well as mental!
Take your time and study the word with your kids. I don't do it all the time; I sometimes let my son read the word to me. As a 10 year old he comes up with some very profound things that are beneficial to everybody.
Either way, here are some scriptures I think would be great to start a conversation in your house:
Proverbs 1:8
Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching.
Proverbs 19:13
A foolish son is his father's ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.
Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord
Proverbs 22:6 (Whole Chapter)
Train [ Or Start ] a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Learning and reading the word of God is never simple. It's an experience all in itself that is different for every family. Children are the people that will help us later on in life and give us the word in a new spiritual light. We love them and help them along.....it's never too late to READ the word.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Thinking Thursday~~God Made Me, ME
When I was born
God made me, ME
Not a reflection of my leaders
Fore Fathers
Cousins
Parents
Not like you
God made me, Me
Gave me a mind
To use
To Choose, HIM
To walk upright
Head High
Not with pride
With a smile
and JOY inside
God made me, Me
Not to be like you
Or act like them
But to be the way
He wanted ME
My own person
My own life
My own way
According to HIS plan
God made me, Me
So don't get in my face
With what you think
You may know about ME
Don't get in my face
With that made up love
saying you LOVE ME
and know what's best
Don't get in my face
When you get uptight
Knowing I love the LORD
and I will NOT fight
argure
fuss
cuss
Don't get mad at me
Because
I'm not you
Don't get mad at me
Because
I'm going in the right direction
God made me, Me
I'm not you
God made me and HE surly made you
God made me, ME
Not a reflection of my leaders
Fore Fathers
Cousins
Parents
Not like you
God made me, Me
Gave me a mind
To use
To Choose, HIM
To walk upright
Head High
Not with pride
With a smile
and JOY inside
God made me, Me
Not to be like you
Or act like them
But to be the way
He wanted ME
My own person
My own life
My own way
According to HIS plan
God made me, Me
So don't get in my face
With what you think
You may know about ME
Don't get in my face
With that made up love
saying you LOVE ME
and know what's best
Don't get in my face
When you get uptight
Knowing I love the LORD
and I will NOT fight
argure
fuss
cuss
Don't get mad at me
Because
I'm not you
Don't get mad at me
Because
I'm going in the right direction
God made me, Me
I'm not you
God made me and HE surly made you
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Working Wednesday!
When in business you have to communictae effectively. Always listen with an attentive ear so that your clients and customers feel special, needed and HEARD!
7 Habits of Highly Successful Communicators
By JoJo Tabares
Eighty seven percent of what we do all day long is communication related. It was such an important skill, that the Lord saw fit to include the topic in His Word many times over. Successful communicators make successful people because it touches almost every single aspect of our lives from personal to professional. Here are seven things that all successful communicators have in common. You can too!
1. Successful communicators know the significance of the 1st Rule of Communication:
Rule #1: It is the speaker's job to be understood and not the listener's job to understand. If you understand this very important principle, it will help you avoid much misunderstanding and frustration. Many people mistakenly assume that, once they say something, it is the listener's job to figure out what they meant. When the listener does not, they say things like..."I just told you!" or they repeat the same statement (perhaps louder as if the listener was hard of hearing... or slower as if the listener was a few brain cells shy). If you understand that it is your job to get your message across, you will take more care to put things clearly. You will be much more forgiving if someone doesn't understand you the first time. Or you will find some other way to say it ensuring the other person will better understand .
2. Successful communicators build large vocabularies:
There is a reason your teachers and parents were so concerned that you learn your vocabulary words! The bigger your vocabulary, the more ammunition you have in your arsenal with which to make yourself understood. Someone with a large vocabulary can choose to speak plainly for clarity or to speak with technically accurate terminology to relate to those who are more knowledgeable in that field. So kids! Take your mom's advice and study those words!!
3. Successful communicators know their audience:
Effective communicators express themselves well because they have learned to speak to their unique audience (whether it be one or a crowd). One size does NOT fit all! That applies just as much to communication as it does to clothing. As a woman of 5' and no inches, a very tiny waist and not so tiny hips and thighs; I can tell you that not all clothes fit me either! My body is unique and so is the way I look at the world. However, I am not unique in my uniqueness! God created each one of us special. No two people see things exactly the same way. Why do you think police officers will tell you that they can have 10 witnesses to a crime and come up with 11 different stories! lol The more you know about your listener(s) the more you will be able to relate to them. Some things you will be able to determine by observing their behavior and some things you may need to ask them. Nobody likes being treated as "one of the crowd". Speak to people as if they are precious and unique children of God!
4. Successful communicators are good listeners:
Most people think of great communicators as talkers, but in reality, they are great listeners! It isn't the guy who is always talking that you love to be around. It's the one who listens to YOU! It's the special friend who always asks how you are and really WANTS the answer! It's the sales girl who wants to sell you what you are LOOKING for and not what she has in stock. These are the great communicators! Listening is a critical skill that allows you to know your audience.
5. Successful communicators are confident-inspiring others to listen:
What drew people to Ronald Reagan? What was it that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr had that inspired others? What was it that even Adolph Hitler had that allowed his evil to flourish for a time? It was more than just their words! It's what some call charisma. It's a confidence in themselves and what they believe (whether right or wrong!) that draws others in. It is the personality of the speaker that comes through the message-showing his conviction. These are the people who inspire.
6. Successful communicators back up their claims with facts and not opinion:
Asserting a position does not make it so. In order to convince others, especially those who hold another belief, you need more than just your say so! You need a little thing many politicians today forget to include in their communication: FACTS! Opinions are not very convincing even when they belong to someone who is an expert in that field! Back up your statements with ..."Just the facts ma'am!" No matter how persuasive your argument may sound, it will never convince that segment of people who start out thinking you are wrong, unless you have something to support your claim beyond "because I say so!". It didn't work for your mother. What makes you think it will work for you!
7. Successful communicators understand that credibility is vital:
What constitutes a fact? According to Webster's Dictionary, a fact is a piece of information presented as having objective reality/truth. When successful communicators speak, they present facts that their audience will see as having credibility. Trying to prove abortion rights by quoting Planned Parenthood will not sway anyone who is Pro Life. They are not objective and therefore, hold no credibility with them. By the same token, trying to prove a Pro Life stance to those who are not Christians will not work by your quoting the Bible.
Highly successful people are highly successful communicators. They take responsibility for their message, build an arsenal of words, understand their audience, listen more than they speak, exude confidence and back up their claims with credible facts. You will too, if you have a message that you want to get out!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
JoJo Tabares is a speaker, the author of several published articles on communication skills, the resident communication expert at Homeschool Talk Radio and the author of the Say What You Mean series of Christian and humor based communication studies including Say What You Mean When You're in Business. For more information on JoJo or the Say What You Mean series, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.comor call 1-866-4SPEECH.
7 Habits of Highly Successful Communicators
By JoJo Tabares
Eighty seven percent of what we do all day long is communication related. It was such an important skill, that the Lord saw fit to include the topic in His Word many times over. Successful communicators make successful people because it touches almost every single aspect of our lives from personal to professional. Here are seven things that all successful communicators have in common. You can too!
1. Successful communicators know the significance of the 1st Rule of Communication:
Rule #1: It is the speaker's job to be understood and not the listener's job to understand. If you understand this very important principle, it will help you avoid much misunderstanding and frustration. Many people mistakenly assume that, once they say something, it is the listener's job to figure out what they meant. When the listener does not, they say things like..."I just told you!" or they repeat the same statement (perhaps louder as if the listener was hard of hearing... or slower as if the listener was a few brain cells shy). If you understand that it is your job to get your message across, you will take more care to put things clearly. You will be much more forgiving if someone doesn't understand you the first time. Or you will find some other way to say it ensuring the other person will better understand .
2. Successful communicators build large vocabularies:
There is a reason your teachers and parents were so concerned that you learn your vocabulary words! The bigger your vocabulary, the more ammunition you have in your arsenal with which to make yourself understood. Someone with a large vocabulary can choose to speak plainly for clarity or to speak with technically accurate terminology to relate to those who are more knowledgeable in that field. So kids! Take your mom's advice and study those words!!
3. Successful communicators know their audience:
Effective communicators express themselves well because they have learned to speak to their unique audience (whether it be one or a crowd). One size does NOT fit all! That applies just as much to communication as it does to clothing. As a woman of 5' and no inches, a very tiny waist and not so tiny hips and thighs; I can tell you that not all clothes fit me either! My body is unique and so is the way I look at the world. However, I am not unique in my uniqueness! God created each one of us special. No two people see things exactly the same way. Why do you think police officers will tell you that they can have 10 witnesses to a crime and come up with 11 different stories! lol The more you know about your listener(s) the more you will be able to relate to them. Some things you will be able to determine by observing their behavior and some things you may need to ask them. Nobody likes being treated as "one of the crowd". Speak to people as if they are precious and unique children of God!
4. Successful communicators are good listeners:
Most people think of great communicators as talkers, but in reality, they are great listeners! It isn't the guy who is always talking that you love to be around. It's the one who listens to YOU! It's the special friend who always asks how you are and really WANTS the answer! It's the sales girl who wants to sell you what you are LOOKING for and not what she has in stock. These are the great communicators! Listening is a critical skill that allows you to know your audience.
5. Successful communicators are confident-inspiring others to listen:
What drew people to Ronald Reagan? What was it that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr had that inspired others? What was it that even Adolph Hitler had that allowed his evil to flourish for a time? It was more than just their words! It's what some call charisma. It's a confidence in themselves and what they believe (whether right or wrong!) that draws others in. It is the personality of the speaker that comes through the message-showing his conviction. These are the people who inspire.
6. Successful communicators back up their claims with facts and not opinion:
Asserting a position does not make it so. In order to convince others, especially those who hold another belief, you need more than just your say so! You need a little thing many politicians today forget to include in their communication: FACTS! Opinions are not very convincing even when they belong to someone who is an expert in that field! Back up your statements with ..."Just the facts ma'am!" No matter how persuasive your argument may sound, it will never convince that segment of people who start out thinking you are wrong, unless you have something to support your claim beyond "because I say so!". It didn't work for your mother. What makes you think it will work for you!
7. Successful communicators understand that credibility is vital:
What constitutes a fact? According to Webster's Dictionary, a fact is a piece of information presented as having objective reality/truth. When successful communicators speak, they present facts that their audience will see as having credibility. Trying to prove abortion rights by quoting Planned Parenthood will not sway anyone who is Pro Life. They are not objective and therefore, hold no credibility with them. By the same token, trying to prove a Pro Life stance to those who are not Christians will not work by your quoting the Bible.
Highly successful people are highly successful communicators. They take responsibility for their message, build an arsenal of words, understand their audience, listen more than they speak, exude confidence and back up their claims with credible facts. You will too, if you have a message that you want to get out!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
JoJo Tabares is a speaker, the author of several published articles on communication skills, the resident communication expert at Homeschool Talk Radio and the author of the Say What You Mean series of Christian and humor based communication studies including Say What You Mean When You're in Business. For more information on JoJo or the Say What You Mean series, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.comor call 1-866-4SPEECH.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Tuesday Tea~~Leaving the World Behind
The world doesn't have to meet me where I am today. The world doesn't have to understand my place in the Lord. Each of our walks of faith are different. The plan God has for you is not for me. The plan God had for my parents is not the same plan He has for me. The plan HE has for my husband is not for me. I'm sure you get my point. His plan for everyone is different. Yet, we have to be in a place to hear him talking to us to know what HIS plan is and move on it; not walking in FEAR.
I want to give a new meaning to the word FEAR and let you dwell on why you need to leave the world behind! Look at fear as an acronym(I love these)
FORGET EVERYTHING ABOUT worldly REALITY
No matter what the world says about you, God thinks more highly of you. No matter what the worldly reality may look like right now, you have to see past today, into the life of what GOD has for you.
Don't worry about what the world says today...step into your tomorrow through faith and understanding from the word God has given us; the bible.
Romans 12:2 (bible.com{NIV})
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
We have to leave the world behind. The wants, the needs, the lusts, the things that make us feel alright, we have to leave it behind and look to the Lord.
Colossians 2:8 (bible.om{NIV})
See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.
Let the people say what they want to say about you. Just stay on the spiritual straight and narrow. Sip on the cup of grace and mercy, sweeten your speech with honey and lemon from the natural life God has given you. Just leave the world behind!
I want to give a new meaning to the word FEAR and let you dwell on why you need to leave the world behind! Look at fear as an acronym(I love these)
FORGET EVERYTHING ABOUT worldly REALITY
No matter what the world says about you, God thinks more highly of you. No matter what the worldly reality may look like right now, you have to see past today, into the life of what GOD has for you.
Don't worry about what the world says today...step into your tomorrow through faith and understanding from the word God has given us; the bible.
Romans 12:2 (bible.com{NIV})
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
We have to leave the world behind. The wants, the needs, the lusts, the things that make us feel alright, we have to leave it behind and look to the Lord.
Colossians 2:8 (bible.om{NIV})
See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.
Let the people say what they want to say about you. Just stay on the spiritual straight and narrow. Sip on the cup of grace and mercy, sweeten your speech with honey and lemon from the natural life God has given you. Just leave the world behind!
Monday, February 18, 2008
Affair Proof Your Marriage
On a marriage cruise a few years back, we had the pleasure of meeting George and Cassie Soete, who were willing to be vulnerable enough to share their story to urge families to affair-proof their marriages.
Roll back the clock 23 years to their 20th wedding anniversary. This is the day George announced to his wife and children that he was leaving them. He was rejecting his wife to pursue the wife of a friend of his. For years before that, unbeknownst to them, they had a third party in their marriage. His name was Satan. The father of lies was teaching this couple, married young and the parents of six, that it is okay to pursue life as each saw fit. Cassie, busy with six children admittedly did not think about pursuing her relationship with her husband. With six kids and twenty years of history, she just assumed he would always be there. George, with a promising business of his own decided his life was ready for some changes, and the biggest obstacle he could see to those changes was his wife.
That evening was not the end of the turmoil. For the next 4.5 years, George moved in and out of the family home at least 8 times, each time saying it was the last move in, then the last move out. With children in five different schools, and toddlers still to potty train, Cassie was devastated. She felt conquered and destroyed. George was playing at life, much like a hamster in a plastic running ball. He thought he was free, but he was really in a bondage he could not recognize. He thought he was having the time of his life, but he was really in a bubble hitting the baseboard, with no more hope than a rodent of ever pulling out of there.
Finally, blessedly, Cassie began to seek another man in her own life, the Lord. A friend invited her to a Bible believing church and she heard the marriage series Bob Russell was doing years ago. She was coming to the realization that she could not change her husband, but she could do one thing. She could spend her idle time and her loneliness to draw closer to God, through the study of his word and through prayer. George began to see a different person in his wife. His wife was the victim, being continually trashed and discarded, but she had the peace he so desperately wanted. He plucked a tape off her counter entitled, “Conflict in Marriage.” He took it back with him and listened, and through Bob’s message, the Holy Spirit went to work in his life, convicting him of his sin and his need for a savior. “I knew I was purely and absolutely wrong on the eyes of the Lord.” He also knew he needed to pursue the bride of his youth. “The loser in this thing is me” he thought. He wanted to come home, and for the first time, Cassie said, “No.”
Cassie needed some things. She wanted assurance that her husband really had transformed. He had. She needed to know he would never leave her again. He has not. She needed to be able to trust him. After quite a bit of time went by, he did regain her trust. She needed to know she was cherished and loved absolutely and positively by her husband. She is. They rebuilt their marriage, with much work from the entire family. Things were awkward at first, but now they are more vibrant, more satisfied, and more in love than they ever believed possible, even as they took their vows 39 years ago. Once they survived the horror of a marriage ripped apart by Satan’s lies, other couples going through similar crisis sought them. People wanted to know how they did it. They wanted the magic formula. This eventually lead to the Marriage Mentoring program at their church that now helps numerous couples survive with their marriages intact. The Soetes know no magic formulas, but they have many suggestions to share with other couples. “Do not try to change your spouse. Concentrate on what changes you need in yourself, primarily in your relationship with the Lord, and secondarily in your role as a spouse. Love in complete obedience to your Lord,. It is not about obtaining happiness. It is about obedience, then true happiness can be obtained.” The Soetes also urged women to be extremely vigilant in the marriage. If you suspect something is amiss, address it head on. Do not shove it under the carpet and hope it will go away. That is a lie of Satan, who wants to destroy your marriage. As Cassie quipped,” You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink, but it does not hurt to salt the oats.”
Ask yourself if YOU would want to be married to YOU? Are you living in such a way that anyone would be attracted to you? Are you the kind of person God desires you to be? If not, change. Use God’s word to transform yourself, surround yourself with God’s truth and reject the worldly methods you may have tried before. They simply do not work. Set appropriate boundaries to protect your marriage. Keep yourself accountable and fresh in the Word.
Some books the couple suggested were: Love Life by Ed Wheat, Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, Every Woman’s Desire by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker, and the Bible.
Finally, George Soete stated he had to put a stake in the ground and declare that regardless of the past, regardless of the world’s influence, he was declaring that the lie of divorce is STOPPING here. This is not a legacy he wants to spread further down his family tree. He insists there needs to be a defining moment when you make that declaration, and never remove the stake.
About the Author
Malia Russell is the blessed wife to Duncan, thankful mother to four children, ages 3-17 and an author, conference speaker and director of www.homemaking911.com. Visit her site for inspiration, encouragement and practical help in your roles as a godly wife, mother, homemaker or home educator.
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Roll back the clock 23 years to their 20th wedding anniversary. This is the day George announced to his wife and children that he was leaving them. He was rejecting his wife to pursue the wife of a friend of his. For years before that, unbeknownst to them, they had a third party in their marriage. His name was Satan. The father of lies was teaching this couple, married young and the parents of six, that it is okay to pursue life as each saw fit. Cassie, busy with six children admittedly did not think about pursuing her relationship with her husband. With six kids and twenty years of history, she just assumed he would always be there. George, with a promising business of his own decided his life was ready for some changes, and the biggest obstacle he could see to those changes was his wife.
That evening was not the end of the turmoil. For the next 4.5 years, George moved in and out of the family home at least 8 times, each time saying it was the last move in, then the last move out. With children in five different schools, and toddlers still to potty train, Cassie was devastated. She felt conquered and destroyed. George was playing at life, much like a hamster in a plastic running ball. He thought he was free, but he was really in a bondage he could not recognize. He thought he was having the time of his life, but he was really in a bubble hitting the baseboard, with no more hope than a rodent of ever pulling out of there.
Finally, blessedly, Cassie began to seek another man in her own life, the Lord. A friend invited her to a Bible believing church and she heard the marriage series Bob Russell was doing years ago. She was coming to the realization that she could not change her husband, but she could do one thing. She could spend her idle time and her loneliness to draw closer to God, through the study of his word and through prayer. George began to see a different person in his wife. His wife was the victim, being continually trashed and discarded, but she had the peace he so desperately wanted. He plucked a tape off her counter entitled, “Conflict in Marriage.” He took it back with him and listened, and through Bob’s message, the Holy Spirit went to work in his life, convicting him of his sin and his need for a savior. “I knew I was purely and absolutely wrong on the eyes of the Lord.” He also knew he needed to pursue the bride of his youth. “The loser in this thing is me” he thought. He wanted to come home, and for the first time, Cassie said, “No.”
Cassie needed some things. She wanted assurance that her husband really had transformed. He had. She needed to know he would never leave her again. He has not. She needed to be able to trust him. After quite a bit of time went by, he did regain her trust. She needed to know she was cherished and loved absolutely and positively by her husband. She is. They rebuilt their marriage, with much work from the entire family. Things were awkward at first, but now they are more vibrant, more satisfied, and more in love than they ever believed possible, even as they took their vows 39 years ago. Once they survived the horror of a marriage ripped apart by Satan’s lies, other couples going through similar crisis sought them. People wanted to know how they did it. They wanted the magic formula. This eventually lead to the Marriage Mentoring program at their church that now helps numerous couples survive with their marriages intact. The Soetes know no magic formulas, but they have many suggestions to share with other couples. “Do not try to change your spouse. Concentrate on what changes you need in yourself, primarily in your relationship with the Lord, and secondarily in your role as a spouse. Love in complete obedience to your Lord,. It is not about obtaining happiness. It is about obedience, then true happiness can be obtained.” The Soetes also urged women to be extremely vigilant in the marriage. If you suspect something is amiss, address it head on. Do not shove it under the carpet and hope it will go away. That is a lie of Satan, who wants to destroy your marriage. As Cassie quipped,” You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink, but it does not hurt to salt the oats.”
Ask yourself if YOU would want to be married to YOU? Are you living in such a way that anyone would be attracted to you? Are you the kind of person God desires you to be? If not, change. Use God’s word to transform yourself, surround yourself with God’s truth and reject the worldly methods you may have tried before. They simply do not work. Set appropriate boundaries to protect your marriage. Keep yourself accountable and fresh in the Word.
Some books the couple suggested were: Love Life by Ed Wheat, Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, Every Woman’s Desire by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker, and the Bible.
Finally, George Soete stated he had to put a stake in the ground and declare that regardless of the past, regardless of the world’s influence, he was declaring that the lie of divorce is STOPPING here. This is not a legacy he wants to spread further down his family tree. He insists there needs to be a defining moment when you make that declaration, and never remove the stake.
About the Author
Malia Russell is the blessed wife to Duncan, thankful mother to four children, ages 3-17 and an author, conference speaker and director of www.homemaking911.com. Visit her site for inspiration, encouragement and practical help in your roles as a godly wife, mother, homemaker or home educator.
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This article may be reprinted freely in your publications or on your website, provided it is reprinted in its entirety and the biographical information is kept intact. Thank you!
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We'd love to consider publishing your articles! Please send your submission to homemaking911@gmail.com with the subject Article Submission and we will be glad to review it for possible inclusion on our website!
Marriage Monday~~Falling in Love Again
Husbands and Wives (male and female) that are married in the eyes of the Lord, need help!
Christian marriages are under attack by the enemy and his tribe! We have to pull ourselves together spiritually and reconnect with our spouses.
Loving, as a Christian, is easy, but staying IN love with our spouses is hard! At some point we decided, as married people, to take care of business and that's okay. Well, you can take care of all the business you want to, but if the love is lost who are you helping??
Eph 5:22 Wives submit to your husbands................25 Husbands love your wives
**Get your minds together to walk as one. The bible says the two become one...
**Leave people out of your business. His moma can't help you, wife, and her parents can't help you husband. If you can't or don't know how to take it to God......don't take it anywhere. The enemy is out there ready to take every negative word you say about your spouse and put it the universe and let it spread! God help us!
1st Cor. 15:33 Do not be misled "bad company corrupts good character" If you need to vent get it out in the bathroom or laundry room.
**Go on a retreat. E.S.S.E.N.C.E OF A Woman is sponsoring a For the Married weekend to help couples rekindle the love(click the title link). Sometimes we have to hear someone else tell us what to do and how to do it...in order to fall in love again.
This weekend will be complete with seminar, luncheon and couples massage.
Be blessed husbands and wives!
Christian marriages are under attack by the enemy and his tribe! We have to pull ourselves together spiritually and reconnect with our spouses.
Loving, as a Christian, is easy, but staying IN love with our spouses is hard! At some point we decided, as married people, to take care of business and that's okay. Well, you can take care of all the business you want to, but if the love is lost who are you helping??
Eph 5:22 Wives submit to your husbands................25 Husbands love your wives
**Get your minds together to walk as one. The bible says the two become one...
**Leave people out of your business. His moma can't help you, wife, and her parents can't help you husband. If you can't or don't know how to take it to God......don't take it anywhere. The enemy is out there ready to take every negative word you say about your spouse and put it the universe and let it spread! God help us!
1st Cor. 15:33 Do not be misled "bad company corrupts good character" If you need to vent get it out in the bathroom or laundry room.
**Go on a retreat. E.S.S.E.N.C.E OF A Woman is sponsoring a For the Married weekend to help couples rekindle the love(click the title link). Sometimes we have to hear someone else tell us what to do and how to do it...in order to fall in love again.
This weekend will be complete with seminar, luncheon and couples massage.
Be blessed husbands and wives!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Simple Sunday--If it's worth saving.............
I was watching Tyler Perry's Why did I get married..and one thing stuck out after the "weekend for the married".
Janet Jackson played a psychologist, married to a wonderful man, they had lost their son..long story short, everything that had been behind closed doors for all the couples had come to the light at dinner.
Anyway, after all this, Janet's character told her friends to make a list of the good and bad things in each others' marriages....."if the good outweighs the bad, you have to figure out a way to fix this" meaning fix your marriage if the good is better than the bad.
If it's worth saving......save it. Your business skills, your ministry, all that is as important as your marriage. So start at the beginning.
Find out where the love was lost.
Find out where one of you went wrong.
Find out the choices you have to save your marriage
--counseling
--church
--communication
Find out that praer helps....
If you looking for a continued life with your spouse, find out what you can do to save it....especially if it's work saving.
Respect each other, fall in love again, pray together, communicate..and don't give up.
Janet Jackson played a psychologist, married to a wonderful man, they had lost their son..long story short, everything that had been behind closed doors for all the couples had come to the light at dinner.
Anyway, after all this, Janet's character told her friends to make a list of the good and bad things in each others' marriages....."if the good outweighs the bad, you have to figure out a way to fix this" meaning fix your marriage if the good is better than the bad.
If it's worth saving......save it. Your business skills, your ministry, all that is as important as your marriage. So start at the beginning.
Find out where the love was lost.
Find out where one of you went wrong.
Find out the choices you have to save your marriage
--counseling
--church
--communication
Find out that praer helps....
If you looking for a continued life with your spouse, find out what you can do to save it....especially if it's work saving.
Respect each other, fall in love again, pray together, communicate..and don't give up.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Let me be strong for you...........
Only one
Only me
Only them
Just my 3......
Three became four
Four became more
and life became...........
Business is strong
School was good
Teens are growing
Learning as they should
Let me be strong for you.................
I look up and not out
I look right and not left
When I hold my hand up
I see 72
When I look out straight
I see pain......I see struggle
Let me be strong for you................
When I look at the months ahead
I look at my life as it has been
Forgetting what the bible tells me
I look at my life as it has been
I see childhood
All over again.............
Let me be strong for you.............
The Lord said
He would handle my battles
He would fight for me
He would help me stand up
He would help me get it together
Let me be strong for you............
Thank you Father, for being strong for ME!
Only me
Only them
Just my 3......
Three became four
Four became more
and life became...........
Business is strong
School was good
Teens are growing
Learning as they should
Let me be strong for you.................
I look up and not out
I look right and not left
When I hold my hand up
I see 72
When I look out straight
I see pain......I see struggle
Let me be strong for you................
When I look at the months ahead
I look at my life as it has been
Forgetting what the bible tells me
I look at my life as it has been
I see childhood
All over again.............
Let me be strong for you.............
The Lord said
He would handle my battles
He would fight for me
He would help me stand up
He would help me get it together
Let me be strong for you............
Thank you Father, for being strong for ME!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Thinking Thursday~~Being IN Love Again
(click the title to either sponsor or be apart of an event for married couples only)
Sometimes when you have been married for so long,you forget how to be IN love. The bible tells us to love one another regardless of everything. All the faults, all the wrongs, all the everything!
Some verses I want to share with you are from the Lord. Guiding us in loving.
1 John 3:11-24
This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. Do not be like Cain, who belinged to the evil on and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother's were righteous. Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who hates his brother is a msurderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him.
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence henever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearrts, and he knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive frm him antyhing we ask, because we obey his commands and do wath pleases him. And this is his command; to believe in the name of his Son, jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.
Song of Songs (solomn)
3:1
All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him.
I believe most women want to be IN love again with their husbands. Sometimes the struggles in life and and in love bring an emotional down fall and we don't know what to do.
I believe that most husbands were taught to take care of the physical, material issues in the home and that everything else would be secondary. I believe that most men, were taught that emotions didn't matter.
After so many years, each one are trying to fall in love again and not look at what happened in the past.
How do you get there? Where do you start? First, start with what love is and how it should be handled in the marriage. Second, start with what love isn't and how respectful each spouse should be to the other.
Although we choose to love, it is something we HAVE TO CHOOSE TO DO. In 1st John we are shown that if we don't love, God isn't in us.
I want to walk with the God in me instead of not. My salvation is important.
In a marriage the salvation of both are important. The light shines from the husband and wife and the kids see it. Our love to each other is helping whomever is watching us (mainly, our children, then our famiy, then our friends)
If you don't feel IN love. Fall in love again with your spouse by creating an atmosphere pleasurable to your mate.
1. Read your bible and smile with the glory of God in your heart and your mind!
2. Love your husband/wife despite the things you don't like about them
3. Respect each other
4. Read the song of songs(solomn) to each other
5. Ask God to place a new heart in you for your spouse
6. Thank them for being them
7. If you need counseling...get it!
8. Go on a retreat/conference just for married persons.
God bless you in all that you do for your marriage and your family.
Sometimes when you have been married for so long,you forget how to be IN love. The bible tells us to love one another regardless of everything. All the faults, all the wrongs, all the everything!
Some verses I want to share with you are from the Lord. Guiding us in loving.
1 John 3:11-24
This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. Do not be like Cain, who belinged to the evil on and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother's were righteous. Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who hates his brother is a msurderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him.
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence henever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearrts, and he knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive frm him antyhing we ask, because we obey his commands and do wath pleases him. And this is his command; to believe in the name of his Son, jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.
Song of Songs (solomn)
3:1
All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him.
I believe most women want to be IN love again with their husbands. Sometimes the struggles in life and and in love bring an emotional down fall and we don't know what to do.
I believe that most husbands were taught to take care of the physical, material issues in the home and that everything else would be secondary. I believe that most men, were taught that emotions didn't matter.
After so many years, each one are trying to fall in love again and not look at what happened in the past.
How do you get there? Where do you start? First, start with what love is and how it should be handled in the marriage. Second, start with what love isn't and how respectful each spouse should be to the other.
Although we choose to love, it is something we HAVE TO CHOOSE TO DO. In 1st John we are shown that if we don't love, God isn't in us.
I want to walk with the God in me instead of not. My salvation is important.
In a marriage the salvation of both are important. The light shines from the husband and wife and the kids see it. Our love to each other is helping whomever is watching us (mainly, our children, then our famiy, then our friends)
If you don't feel IN love. Fall in love again with your spouse by creating an atmosphere pleasurable to your mate.
1. Read your bible and smile with the glory of God in your heart and your mind!
2. Love your husband/wife despite the things you don't like about them
3. Respect each other
4. Read the song of songs(solomn) to each other
5. Ask God to place a new heart in you for your spouse
6. Thank them for being them
7. If you need counseling...get it!
8. Go on a retreat/conference just for married persons.
God bless you in all that you do for your marriage and your family.
Thinking Thursday~~Valentine's Day in the form of a Child
I woke up this morning, looking for nothing more than a cup a coffee and a donut to get ready for work. I woke up struggling with the fact that, my husband, is leaving me again to attend a funeral. I woke up struggling with what in the world is wrong with my youngest son???? I woke up wondering what is wrong with me that I am just failing at this thing called life.
I don't like struggling. It's too difficult to get past, it's too much to think about and I just don't like it.
I sat at the kitchen table this morning, drinking my coffee, asking the Lord to show me something in HIS word about why I feel like this and why this feeling keeps coming back to haunt me. Nothing came to me, I found nothing.........my youngest son came in and sat on my lap and just leaned on my shoulder. I asked him what was wrong......he said, I just came in to give you a hug on valentine's day. I thought I was going to die! At 10 years old, it's my son who remembers mom on an unimportant day like this.
All his life, as short as it is, he has been the MAN. Looking out for mom; calling and checking on mom. God sent me this man in this baby's body to show me that it doesn't matter who I am looking for, God sent me enough to fulfill my needs right here.
As a wife, mother, sister, daughter, woman, I am all things to all people. God showed me this morning in my son, that I am not a failure. With 3 kids, I did something right with at least one.
While I was putting myself down,God reminded me why I was here........for them; my children. No matter what I did or didn't do, I am here to make sure they SEE GOD in me, and know that life is okay as it is. Just simple, just loving, and fully complete.
My Valentine's day came in the form of a 10 year-old child with the love, care and consideration of a grown man.
God bless you all and happy valentines day!
I don't like struggling. It's too difficult to get past, it's too much to think about and I just don't like it.
I sat at the kitchen table this morning, drinking my coffee, asking the Lord to show me something in HIS word about why I feel like this and why this feeling keeps coming back to haunt me. Nothing came to me, I found nothing.........my youngest son came in and sat on my lap and just leaned on my shoulder. I asked him what was wrong......he said, I just came in to give you a hug on valentine's day. I thought I was going to die! At 10 years old, it's my son who remembers mom on an unimportant day like this.
All his life, as short as it is, he has been the MAN. Looking out for mom; calling and checking on mom. God sent me this man in this baby's body to show me that it doesn't matter who I am looking for, God sent me enough to fulfill my needs right here.
As a wife, mother, sister, daughter, woman, I am all things to all people. God showed me this morning in my son, that I am not a failure. With 3 kids, I did something right with at least one.
While I was putting myself down,God reminded me why I was here........for them; my children. No matter what I did or didn't do, I am here to make sure they SEE GOD in me, and know that life is okay as it is. Just simple, just loving, and fully complete.
My Valentine's day came in the form of a 10 year-old child with the love, care and consideration of a grown man.
God bless you all and happy valentines day!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Working Wednesday! Sharing Wisdom for Businesses
12 Deadly Communication Sins of Advertising
by JoJo Tabares
You don't have to be a marketing genius to be able to spot a bad ad. Every consumer can pick them out; they are the ones that annoy us. They interrupt our day and waste our time. So why should we even have a discussion about bad ads? Because identifying a bad ad is what our customers do. We on the other hand are often oblivious to the miscommunication a bad ad can send to our customers!
As small business owners, we spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out what a good ad is. Finding the best possible combination of words, concepts and persuasion for each audience/venue is a daunting task and I don't even pretend to be a marketing expert. However, as a communication expert, I know well the consequences of annoying a customer with salesy hype at the most inopportune time. By following some simple rules you can avoid making some of the most common business communication errors.
Error #1. Being an Uninvited Guest
Generally an ad, sales pitch or sales call is an unwelcome interruption for our customers. Even if they sign up for a double opt in eNewsletter, they are interrupted by their daily email to find our communication awaiting their immediate attention. We small business owners need to sensitive to that. If we are to persuade this potential customer to take a look at our wares, we must communicate that what we have to offer is worth the interruption. Our first mistake is merely assuming that all of our customers are eager to see or hear what we have to say. When we understand that we are merely an unwelcome interruption to their day, we can begin to tailor our message accordingly. First we need to capture their attention in the headline. This headline must be tailored to the specific group of potential customers to whom you are speaking. Make sure that it addresses their needs! In an effort to sell more widgets, we small business owners tend to want to appeal to a wide range of customers. Think about how you like to be addressed. Do you like to be spoken to as if you are one of the masses? Or do you appreciate it when someone takes the time to find out what you need? We will discuss the body of the ad later on.
Another common error of being uninvited is to post an ad on an email group like Yahoo inappropriately. Many groups do not allow ads at all. Some groups allow ads only on specific days. To post an ad on a non ad day is almost an unforgivable sin. Spam is a big issue for people these days. It is vital to get to know your groups before you begin posting in order to avoid making a very bad first impression. Most of these ads don't get read at all. These ads are quickly deleted and sometimes members will email the moderators asking that *justice be done*. :D Be careful not to leave a bad taste in your customer's mouth or you will not eat of the fruit of success. Bad press travels ten times faster than good news and about a hundred times as often!
Along these same lines is the dreaded sales follow-up phone call during the dinner hour. If you call your customer on the phone, always make sure to call at a convenient hour. Don't call during dinner! Yes, you will be sure to catch her in, but an old sales proverb goes like this: Hungry customer with dinner waiting is not in the market for whatever it is you sell!
Error #2. Hype it Up
Today's consumer is very savvy! People can spot hype a mile away-unless it is their own! Too much glitz and glam can make your company, product or service sound too good to be true. Just as I began writing this article, I got a phone call from a salesman who told me that I had been chosen to win a free computer, $1000 shopping spree to some website I never heard of, a cell phone and a $500 something or other! lol I didn't listen that closely as I replied "Yeah, sure!". Nobody gets something for nothing and your customer's mind will not let go of the feeling that you are going to take them for everything they've got. So ...maybe you don't call your customers and offer them a free $1000 worth of your products, but have you ever sent out an ad that said made outlandish sounding claims? "Make $2000 your very first month!", "You will never need another ...." While these claims may be true and certainly do catch your customer's attention, they do not lend credibility to your company and are dismissed immediately if not sooner.
Error #3. Feigning Ignorance
Have you ever posted something on one of your business email groups knowing that it probably isn't allowed but you didn't want to take the time to ask? When caught, we usually say something like..."Oh! I am so sorry. I didn't realize that wasn't allowed!". Now sometimes we truly had no idea that a certain rule exists, but many times we secretly hope we will get away with it and rely on the kindness of people to forgive our little sin. Be careful! I have seen people do this once too often and it can backfire in a big way. The net is a surprisingly small world. Many of your group members are also on other groups with you. Once they get to know you, you have a reputation. It's wonderful to have a reputation for being honest, trustworthy, kind, uplifting... But a reputation for posting "Ooops! I didn't know..." emails will catch up with you.
Error #4. Liar, Liar Pants on Fire!
I hope nobody reading this article is making a practice of lying to their customers, but I have seen spam come through with subject lines like..."Knew you would appreciate this site!" and "How are you?". Anyone who knows me knows that I most certainly wouldn't appreciate a website that sells pornography so when I open an email to find this website link, I am a little miffed to say the least! This is an extreme example, but I have also seen subject lines that have nothing what-so-ever to do with what they are selling. Most people find it offensive to open an email entitled..."re: your inquiry" only to find an ad for something that they had never *inquired* about. If you do send out emails, for whatever reason, keep your subject lines pertinent to your message.
Error #5. Loooooooooong Sales Copy
There is a controversy over this among the marketing gurus out there, but in my humble opinion, long sales copy only sells to men and then only when they are deeply interested in that subject. If you market to women, keep it brief! Most women are busy wearing many hats: wife, mother, housekeeper, baby sitter, career woman... Most of the women I survey say that they don't have the time to read long hype-y sales copy that doesn't reveal what they are selling until the very end. Most women like short and sweet ads that grab their attention and give them a way to find more information when they have the time to do so.
Error #6. Grammar and *Speling*
The written word has always required proper grammar, spelling and punctuation, but it recent years, email has become an accepted form of communication with our customers. Email is generally a more informal communication prone to incomplete sentences, abbreviations and typos. These are all generally accepted as appropriate among friends and co workers, not, however, for customers! Misspellings, typos and bad grammar all tell our customers that we don't take the time to do things properly. Done enough it can make a message almost unintelligible! One of the most basic mistakes I see is not creating paragraphs. Nobody wants to read one long run-on sentence. When the eye sees a two page sentence, it sends a message to the fingers to hit that happy delete button. Skip lines between thoughts to make it easier for your customers to follow you. You don't even need to indent anymore. It is perfectly acceptable these days.
Error #7. Trite Right
Nothing says blah like "Great!, Fantastic!, Superb!, Marvelous! and FREE!" These words are so overused that they no longer hold any meaning for people. Use unique words when you describe your products/services. Marvelous can mean almost anything! These are typical sales words. They scream "I WANT TO SELL YOU SOMETHING!". Don't use them.
Error #8. Shouting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Speaking of screaming, don't use all caps and don't use a barrage of exclamation marks. Marketing copy with a large quantity of words in all caps (or a sea of exclamation points!!!) gives the impression that you are an amateur. Nobody wants to pay an amateur. They want a professional.
Error #9. Not So Covert Mass Mailers
Convenience is not the mother of success. Sending out the same ad to all of your 35 yahoo groups may be easy, but it doesn't inspire confidence in your company and here's why. You may forget to make sure that each one of your 35 groups allows ads on that day. We already talked about the consequences of that, but if they see that you have blanketed all of you groups with this *spam*, members are more likely to take offense at being one of the 'little people'. You will likely convey that you are there just for Ad Day and not as a contributing member of the group. If you create a group in your email client for mass mailing your ad to all of these groups, the return address on the email (Acme Mailing List vs Yahoo ABC Group), these members may suspect that you have harvested their email addresses for mass mailing purposes and could report you for violating spam laws. See how long your small business lasts then! Your customers want to be treated as special. Tailoring your ad or marketing message to a specific group can make all the difference in your success!
Error #10. Have Some Wine with That Cheese...
Be careful to look over your marketing message for anything that might seem unprofessional for your industry before it is sent out. Have you ever looked at some of those infomercials and cable TV commercials? Some of them make my daughter cringe. You may be a small business with a small budget, but you don't want to give the impression that you are a cheesy, cheap company.
Error #11. Pushy Post Script
Once you have made your point, back off buster! It is one thing to bring home a point; it is quite another pushy matter to pound your customer over the head with it. You goal should be to present the information so that the intelligent thing for your customer to do next is to call or visit your site to get more information. Long sales copy with different fonts, colors, sizes and six P.S.'s are an insult to their intelligence. If you can't make them interested enough to want more information in five pages of ad, you won't succeed by adding a P.P.P.P.P.S.
Error #12. What in the world IS this?
Another area of controversy is the website or sales letter/call that gives a long involved presentation before it ever gets to the point of telling you why you are listening. Many of us will not stand still long enough to read a book unless we believe it will be worth our time. If you can't tell me who you are and why I should be interested, I may think you are hiding something or don't have a case. Don't waste my time.
Additionally, email ads with no signature are likely to be filed in the eRound file. Surprisingly, I see a good number of email group ads come through on Ad Day with no company name, no web address, no signature of any kind. You should program your signature line in your email client (e.g.: Outlook) to appear on all of your communication to your groups, but especially on your ads. Not only can't they order if they can't find you, but they won't remember you when they are looking for that item. More importantly, they won't get the impression that your company has staying power enough to want to find out what you left off.
Remember, make your communication easy to follow and tailor it to the individual as much as you can for best results.
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JoJo Tabares is a speaker, the author of several published articles on communication skills, the resident communication expert at Homeschool Talk Radio and the author of the Say What You Mean series of Christian and humor based communication studies including Say What You Mean When You're in Business. For more information on JoJo or the Say What You Mean series, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.comor call 1-866-4SPEECH.
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by JoJo Tabares
You don't have to be a marketing genius to be able to spot a bad ad. Every consumer can pick them out; they are the ones that annoy us. They interrupt our day and waste our time. So why should we even have a discussion about bad ads? Because identifying a bad ad is what our customers do. We on the other hand are often oblivious to the miscommunication a bad ad can send to our customers!
As small business owners, we spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out what a good ad is. Finding the best possible combination of words, concepts and persuasion for each audience/venue is a daunting task and I don't even pretend to be a marketing expert. However, as a communication expert, I know well the consequences of annoying a customer with salesy hype at the most inopportune time. By following some simple rules you can avoid making some of the most common business communication errors.
Error #1. Being an Uninvited Guest
Generally an ad, sales pitch or sales call is an unwelcome interruption for our customers. Even if they sign up for a double opt in eNewsletter, they are interrupted by their daily email to find our communication awaiting their immediate attention. We small business owners need to sensitive to that. If we are to persuade this potential customer to take a look at our wares, we must communicate that what we have to offer is worth the interruption. Our first mistake is merely assuming that all of our customers are eager to see or hear what we have to say. When we understand that we are merely an unwelcome interruption to their day, we can begin to tailor our message accordingly. First we need to capture their attention in the headline. This headline must be tailored to the specific group of potential customers to whom you are speaking. Make sure that it addresses their needs! In an effort to sell more widgets, we small business owners tend to want to appeal to a wide range of customers. Think about how you like to be addressed. Do you like to be spoken to as if you are one of the masses? Or do you appreciate it when someone takes the time to find out what you need? We will discuss the body of the ad later on.
Another common error of being uninvited is to post an ad on an email group like Yahoo inappropriately. Many groups do not allow ads at all. Some groups allow ads only on specific days. To post an ad on a non ad day is almost an unforgivable sin. Spam is a big issue for people these days. It is vital to get to know your groups before you begin posting in order to avoid making a very bad first impression. Most of these ads don't get read at all. These ads are quickly deleted and sometimes members will email the moderators asking that *justice be done*. :D Be careful not to leave a bad taste in your customer's mouth or you will not eat of the fruit of success. Bad press travels ten times faster than good news and about a hundred times as often!
Along these same lines is the dreaded sales follow-up phone call during the dinner hour. If you call your customer on the phone, always make sure to call at a convenient hour. Don't call during dinner! Yes, you will be sure to catch her in, but an old sales proverb goes like this: Hungry customer with dinner waiting is not in the market for whatever it is you sell!
Error #2. Hype it Up
Today's consumer is very savvy! People can spot hype a mile away-unless it is their own! Too much glitz and glam can make your company, product or service sound too good to be true. Just as I began writing this article, I got a phone call from a salesman who told me that I had been chosen to win a free computer, $1000 shopping spree to some website I never heard of, a cell phone and a $500 something or other! lol I didn't listen that closely as I replied "Yeah, sure!". Nobody gets something for nothing and your customer's mind will not let go of the feeling that you are going to take them for everything they've got. So ...maybe you don't call your customers and offer them a free $1000 worth of your products, but have you ever sent out an ad that said made outlandish sounding claims? "Make $2000 your very first month!", "You will never need another ...." While these claims may be true and certainly do catch your customer's attention, they do not lend credibility to your company and are dismissed immediately if not sooner.
Error #3. Feigning Ignorance
Have you ever posted something on one of your business email groups knowing that it probably isn't allowed but you didn't want to take the time to ask? When caught, we usually say something like..."Oh! I am so sorry. I didn't realize that wasn't allowed!". Now sometimes we truly had no idea that a certain rule exists, but many times we secretly hope we will get away with it and rely on the kindness of people to forgive our little sin. Be careful! I have seen people do this once too often and it can backfire in a big way. The net is a surprisingly small world. Many of your group members are also on other groups with you. Once they get to know you, you have a reputation. It's wonderful to have a reputation for being honest, trustworthy, kind, uplifting... But a reputation for posting "Ooops! I didn't know..." emails will catch up with you.
Error #4. Liar, Liar Pants on Fire!
I hope nobody reading this article is making a practice of lying to their customers, but I have seen spam come through with subject lines like..."Knew you would appreciate this site!" and "How are you?". Anyone who knows me knows that I most certainly wouldn't appreciate a website that sells pornography so when I open an email to find this website link, I am a little miffed to say the least! This is an extreme example, but I have also seen subject lines that have nothing what-so-ever to do with what they are selling. Most people find it offensive to open an email entitled..."re: your inquiry" only to find an ad for something that they had never *inquired* about. If you do send out emails, for whatever reason, keep your subject lines pertinent to your message.
Error #5. Loooooooooong Sales Copy
There is a controversy over this among the marketing gurus out there, but in my humble opinion, long sales copy only sells to men and then only when they are deeply interested in that subject. If you market to women, keep it brief! Most women are busy wearing many hats: wife, mother, housekeeper, baby sitter, career woman... Most of the women I survey say that they don't have the time to read long hype-y sales copy that doesn't reveal what they are selling until the very end. Most women like short and sweet ads that grab their attention and give them a way to find more information when they have the time to do so.
Error #6. Grammar and *Speling*
The written word has always required proper grammar, spelling and punctuation, but it recent years, email has become an accepted form of communication with our customers. Email is generally a more informal communication prone to incomplete sentences, abbreviations and typos. These are all generally accepted as appropriate among friends and co workers, not, however, for customers! Misspellings, typos and bad grammar all tell our customers that we don't take the time to do things properly. Done enough it can make a message almost unintelligible! One of the most basic mistakes I see is not creating paragraphs. Nobody wants to read one long run-on sentence. When the eye sees a two page sentence, it sends a message to the fingers to hit that happy delete button. Skip lines between thoughts to make it easier for your customers to follow you. You don't even need to indent anymore. It is perfectly acceptable these days.
Error #7. Trite Right
Nothing says blah like "Great!, Fantastic!, Superb!, Marvelous! and FREE!" These words are so overused that they no longer hold any meaning for people. Use unique words when you describe your products/services. Marvelous can mean almost anything! These are typical sales words. They scream "I WANT TO SELL YOU SOMETHING!". Don't use them.
Error #8. Shouting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Speaking of screaming, don't use all caps and don't use a barrage of exclamation marks. Marketing copy with a large quantity of words in all caps (or a sea of exclamation points!!!) gives the impression that you are an amateur. Nobody wants to pay an amateur. They want a professional.
Error #9. Not So Covert Mass Mailers
Convenience is not the mother of success. Sending out the same ad to all of your 35 yahoo groups may be easy, but it doesn't inspire confidence in your company and here's why. You may forget to make sure that each one of your 35 groups allows ads on that day. We already talked about the consequences of that, but if they see that you have blanketed all of you groups with this *spam*, members are more likely to take offense at being one of the 'little people'. You will likely convey that you are there just for Ad Day and not as a contributing member of the group. If you create a group in your email client for mass mailing your ad to all of these groups, the return address on the email (Acme Mailing List vs Yahoo ABC Group), these members may suspect that you have harvested their email addresses for mass mailing purposes and could report you for violating spam laws. See how long your small business lasts then! Your customers want to be treated as special. Tailoring your ad or marketing message to a specific group can make all the difference in your success!
Error #10. Have Some Wine with That Cheese...
Be careful to look over your marketing message for anything that might seem unprofessional for your industry before it is sent out. Have you ever looked at some of those infomercials and cable TV commercials? Some of them make my daughter cringe. You may be a small business with a small budget, but you don't want to give the impression that you are a cheesy, cheap company.
Error #11. Pushy Post Script
Once you have made your point, back off buster! It is one thing to bring home a point; it is quite another pushy matter to pound your customer over the head with it. You goal should be to present the information so that the intelligent thing for your customer to do next is to call or visit your site to get more information. Long sales copy with different fonts, colors, sizes and six P.S.'s are an insult to their intelligence. If you can't make them interested enough to want more information in five pages of ad, you won't succeed by adding a P.P.P.P.P.S.
Error #12. What in the world IS this?
Another area of controversy is the website or sales letter/call that gives a long involved presentation before it ever gets to the point of telling you why you are listening. Many of us will not stand still long enough to read a book unless we believe it will be worth our time. If you can't tell me who you are and why I should be interested, I may think you are hiding something or don't have a case. Don't waste my time.
Additionally, email ads with no signature are likely to be filed in the eRound file. Surprisingly, I see a good number of email group ads come through on Ad Day with no company name, no web address, no signature of any kind. You should program your signature line in your email client (e.g.: Outlook) to appear on all of your communication to your groups, but especially on your ads. Not only can't they order if they can't find you, but they won't remember you when they are looking for that item. More importantly, they won't get the impression that your company has staying power enough to want to find out what you left off.
Remember, make your communication easy to follow and tailor it to the individual as much as you can for best results.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
JoJo Tabares is a speaker, the author of several published articles on communication skills, the resident communication expert at Homeschool Talk Radio and the author of the Say What You Mean series of Christian and humor based communication studies including Say What You Mean When You're in Business. For more information on JoJo or the Say What You Mean series, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.comor call 1-866-4SPEECH.
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Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Tuesday Tea
Welcome everyone to Tuesday Tea!
Although I will be having different posts here and there, I wanted to start having topics day to day that will be interesting and spiritually helpful.
Most times during our day to day life, we need a break to talk about issues, concerns or just talk; hence, the Tuesday Tea.
My concern today is the lack of love in the world. Not the type of love that a husband and wife share but the general love that is shared between friends, colleagues, co-workers. There is a love that needs to be postively directed. The same love God had for us when he sent HIS only son.
I don't think the church realizes it's effect on the people. When I say people, I mean all people. Those that are saved and unsaved (Saved= claim Jesus as their Lord and saviour). Those that are following a shephard whose teaching might not be THERE. Or who only teaches on the prosperity aspect of life. Those that are new Christians and the church looks down on them because their skirt is too short, or their jeans are sagging. Whatever the cause maybe, I don't remember Jesus looking down on Matthew or the woman at the well! So, saints, who are we to snub our noses at the stripper, the peddlar, the drug dealer? Who are we?
Where is the Love?
Although I will be having different posts here and there, I wanted to start having topics day to day that will be interesting and spiritually helpful.
Most times during our day to day life, we need a break to talk about issues, concerns or just talk; hence, the Tuesday Tea.
My concern today is the lack of love in the world. Not the type of love that a husband and wife share but the general love that is shared between friends, colleagues, co-workers. There is a love that needs to be postively directed. The same love God had for us when he sent HIS only son.
I don't think the church realizes it's effect on the people. When I say people, I mean all people. Those that are saved and unsaved (Saved= claim Jesus as their Lord and saviour). Those that are following a shephard whose teaching might not be THERE. Or who only teaches on the prosperity aspect of life. Those that are new Christians and the church looks down on them because their skirt is too short, or their jeans are sagging. Whatever the cause maybe, I don't remember Jesus looking down on Matthew or the woman at the well! So, saints, who are we to snub our noses at the stripper, the peddlar, the drug dealer? Who are we?
Where is the Love?
Single Parent Syndrome and all alone.
This post is going to be real short and real to the point.
When you are single with 2-3 kids or even one child and you don't have help you are in trouble! You may or may not have a car, you might be trying to go to work and/or school and you don't have any money.
Where is the help? Even if you are on the system, their money isn't enough! What do you do? You lean on the Lord's side and keep your head up. I was there...with 2 and 3 children. I'm still there married with 4 children.
It is hard to be single and considered doing the right thing....when you aren't listening to the "normal folk"! And what is normal? Normal is what you do that's GOOD and morally correct for your family.
Just because you were a shack dancer all those years ago doesn't mean you don't know the value of a $1 it just means you have great business sense! God help us!
Did you know it is a blizzard outside your life and inside? You are hot and cold all at the same time because you are trying to be mom and dad and there is no one there for you! Do you understand the downfall of that at the age of 50? You might be able to accomplish much, but when you look back you don't well up with pride, your eyes fill with tears because Tommy and Joanna at 3 years of age didn't understand all you went through to get them to college, get them a good education and for YOU to keep living. It's Single Person Syndrome and all alone...you need motivation and encouragement and you couldn't get it. That's okay...wake up, look up! The only being that has your best interest at heart is God.
That's it, that's all...that's everything!
When you are single with 2-3 kids or even one child and you don't have help you are in trouble! You may or may not have a car, you might be trying to go to work and/or school and you don't have any money.
Where is the help? Even if you are on the system, their money isn't enough! What do you do? You lean on the Lord's side and keep your head up. I was there...with 2 and 3 children. I'm still there married with 4 children.
It is hard to be single and considered doing the right thing....when you aren't listening to the "normal folk"! And what is normal? Normal is what you do that's GOOD and morally correct for your family.
Just because you were a shack dancer all those years ago doesn't mean you don't know the value of a $1 it just means you have great business sense! God help us!
Did you know it is a blizzard outside your life and inside? You are hot and cold all at the same time because you are trying to be mom and dad and there is no one there for you! Do you understand the downfall of that at the age of 50? You might be able to accomplish much, but when you look back you don't well up with pride, your eyes fill with tears because Tommy and Joanna at 3 years of age didn't understand all you went through to get them to college, get them a good education and for YOU to keep living. It's Single Person Syndrome and all alone...you need motivation and encouragement and you couldn't get it. That's okay...wake up, look up! The only being that has your best interest at heart is God.
That's it, that's all...that's everything!
Friday, February 08, 2008
Family Friday
Ladies and gentlemen, we are going to do more "construtive" things here on the ESSENCE blog. It's best for all of us!
Every Friday we will have family Friday. Here is where we make suggestions, cry, comment, and live for the weekend with our family!
So here are my suggestions for a great weekend:
**Roller Skating (it's good exercise)
**Bowling
**Movie night (set up your dvd and have real popcorn)
**Read together (have one of the kids read a chapter)
**Spend time talking
**Eat out!
**Eat in and let the kids help cook!
Family time is essential for postive growth and loving all the time.
God bless.
Every Friday we will have family Friday. Here is where we make suggestions, cry, comment, and live for the weekend with our family!
So here are my suggestions for a great weekend:
**Roller Skating (it's good exercise)
**Bowling
**Movie night (set up your dvd and have real popcorn)
**Read together (have one of the kids read a chapter)
**Spend time talking
**Eat out!
**Eat in and let the kids help cook!
Family time is essential for postive growth and loving all the time.
God bless.
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